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    Story help SryanBruen

    Is this an alright story for OL English?

    During times that were pretty arduous and mankind was despicable, racial segregation determined that the white and black people were separate from each other. White people were superior of black people but life for white people wasn’t all straightforward. Mortality for both kinds of humans were very high as wars took place nearly every year. Wars caused great depression to people and economic systems too. Buildings were easily dilapidated and Corvale was not a nice place to survive in. Controlled by rich overlords, most people had to pay rents as they did not have enough cash to buy a house for full-time. And to make matters worse, graveyards had monthly visits from the dead which adults were sworn by the law to not tell their children until they were 16 even if they find out themselves.

    One such situation took place on a cold, quite evening in late November 1933 where a timid, young man named Benjamin O’Sullivan was trudging along the pathway towards Corvale Cemetery. The Cemetery was where Benjamin’s ancestors and grandparents laid in peace. He was rather chatty despite his shy nature and lived in his own little world at times. Though the sky was pitch-black anyway, Benjamin had a feeling that the sun was setting and it was getting dark soon, so he needed to hurry. He laid flowers on the grave in honour to his family descendants and always believed that they are looking down on him and are proud of him. Benjamin always prayed to them but this time, he prayed a bit too much that he did not recognize that darkness had come and the day had vanished away. Benjamin knew that he wasn’t allowed out in the dark alone without somebody by his side and so he quickly dashed home.

    However, there were strange chuckles coming from the graveyard which Benjamin tried to ignore. Benjamin’s ears swore that the chuckles were coming closer and closer as he dashed home and unfortunately, they were correct. The strange chuckles were the spirits of dead people and Benjamin was petrified as he never experienced something so blood-curdling before. Down the other way, he ran as fast as a cheetah which was a longer way to his house. At the same time, he did not know that more spirits polluted the air down that road too and he was stuck in a pickle of terror. Benjamin instead ran across the road as fast as he could trying to avoid any cars coming in which there were very few; so wasn’t a big problem to him. Furthermore, Benjamin made it home soon.

    At home, Benjamin told his mother about the incident he had near the graveyard. The mother could not lie to him despite the law and told him the truth but she quoted in such a serious voice “Benjamin, don’t you tell anyone that I told you about this as it is against the law and I could be put in prison without trial and that means, there would be nobody to look after you and your other siblings”, Benjamin’s shy nature helped keep the secret as he did not interact with people very well so his mother was safe from prison cells and perhaps death!

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      It's clear that English isn't your first language, although there are no major errors and it is quite well written. It should get you a good B for OL once it's completed.

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